Axl Rose - Got the Sickness!?

Last night (July 30), a sick Axl Rose left the stage of Wembley Arena, which held Guns N' Roses last UK date of the tour. The bloated / boondocks-bar-hoppin' version of the vocalist who fronted a band that should have called it quits before or right after their first full-length, had apparently grown so ill by the end of the set that he had to leave. What is it now Mr. Rose? Your tummy? Nah. It's that blasted H-fix again. Eh, maybe, maybe not. Maybe, you couldn't let that cosmetic surgery of yours melt at the beams of stagelighting. Waxy-, sun-tanned by alcoholism-appearance must be maintained.

Whatever it was, it had Skid Row's Sebastian Bach take his place, and hairspray-wail Night Train and Paradise City. Come on, Axl. Your name is Axl, dude. Shouldn't that imply never letting your buried pussy get the best of you? You know, the little pussy that grew out of your clown's wig that you call pubic hair. Remember, when your taint started splitting as soon as you got called 'rock god'? I know how you like your chicken roasted just right before your big performance, and that you get violently sensitive whenever someone wipes at your mangina fluid, but temper tantrums were a thing of the past. Now it's just silly since you've been receiving your Medicare. It's come to this. The ex-con getting his even stinkier, sweatier pussy of a friend, Sebastian, to cover for him. Oh well, Axl, at least you can safely say Slash's head looks more and more like a Latin crotch every day, but at least his balls didn't get lost in it.